Smile
by Perdedor721
Summary: Musings of a love delicately constructed and then shattered, leaving one to pick up the pieces, wondering how it all fell apart.


**_Title_**_: Smile_

**_Author_**_: Katie2_

**_Summary_**_: Musings of a love delicately constructed and then shattered, leaving one to pick up the pieces, wondering how it all fell apart._

**_Dedication_**_: Katie1, Emma, and Khang. I promised you guys I'd write again; here you go._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I don't own 'em. Wouldn't get much outta me if you sued anyway._

It started with a smile. The most beautiful one I'd ever laid eyes on; three teeth missing, two crooked, and all bared for the world to see in a confident grin that warmed me to the tips of my toes, even as I stood in the cold and slushy snow, the chill seeping through my sneakers as though there was no barrier at all. Your eyes sparkled when you spoke, a sort of mischievous scheme being planned behind them at all times. Many a time, I found myself completely lost in those deep coffee-colored pools, almost able to read your every thought just through a gaze.

We had been friends for a long time, since birth, really, but that smile… it changed something about the nature of our relationship forever. I don't know what it was about that day… but something clicked inside of me, and I suddenly felt things I'd never felt before. My whole life you had been my playmate, my companion, and my best friend… but there was something different now. I would get butterflies each time you'd touch my hand. I'd blush at the slightest teasing remark that we were the "cutest little lovebirds" that our parents had ever seen. We used to just roll our eyes and ignore those comments, but now I was wishing they were true. I wanted them to be true more than anything else in the world.

And then one day… it happened. I had made up my mind that I just could not keep these feelings bottled up anymore. I had been acting strangely, and it was straining our friendship, threatening to pull us apart. You couldn't figure out why everything was so different between us, and, before that day, I couldn't work up the courage to tell you how I felt. But I would rather have taken the chance, than lost you without ever knowing what we could have been. So I did. I kissed you. I kissed you in the middle of the ice after winning the pee-wee state championship for everyone to see. And then something amazing happened. You kissed back.

From that moment on, our lives were changed forever. Who would have thought that just one smile… just one kiss… could change so much in so short a period of time? It took me a while to say it… to actually figure out what I was feeling… but after a few months, I could no longer question it… I was in love.

I loved everything about you. Everything. Even your every little imperfection made you more perfect to me. It was impossible to imagine my life without you. You were my world. When I held you in my arms, I felt like the luckiest man on earth, and even if the world were to end, I would be happy just to have you there with me because you were all the really mattered. I was blinded by my love for you… and I was foolish to believe that yours for me would never end.

It slowly fell apart. Day by day I could tell things were changing. I didn't want them to change; I fought so hard to keep you… to keep what we used to have alive. I prayed that it was only a phase… that things would get better soon. I stupidly continued to live my life as though there was nothing wrong, and this would all pass if I only gave you time. I tried to give you time. You wanted more. You wanted out. You wanted to live your life as you had never lived it before. I was hurt. But I let you go. I let you do as you pleased for that summer, not even seeing or speaking to you once. I don't know what went on that summer, but it planted the seed for what would come to alter the rest of my life.

School began again, and things were still strained between us, but I wanted to give us another shot. I even stooped so low as to beg, to positively plead with you to give me another chance to make you happy… to give me another chance to see that sparkle in your eye, that radiant smile all for me, the glow that gave you the power to light up a room simply with your mere presence. I couldn't bear the thought of living without that. So you agreed, after too much of pathetic, beseeching words from me. I knew it would never be the same.

Yet, at first it seemed as though it was. When I held you in my arms again, it felt just like before. That smile that I had fallen in love with was bared for me once again. You still hadn't lost that sparkle in your eye… the one I loved so much and prayed would never, ever go away.

But I slowly began to catch on. Something _was _different. He was different. So were you. You were together too much to hide the change. At first, I ignored it… blocked it out because I couldn't face that I was losing you for good this time. I tried to go on as though everything was normal. It wasn't.

It ended with a tear. Just a single tear that held more meaning, sorrow, regret, and actually… fear… than I had ever felt before. I was confused, hurt, angry, upset… I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand why I wasn't good enough anymore. I wanted to understand why he was. I wanted to understand how the Guy Germaine you had fallen in love with had changed so drastically that you suddenly felt compelled to be with someone else. But most of all, I wanted to understand why you kissed him and then ran to me in tears looking for solace, pity, and forgiveness that I simply couldn't offer to you.

I ended it that night. I couldn't be with you knowing I was holding you back from what you really wanted. And maybe I was afraid too… afraid that if I didn't let you go, it would happen again. I couldn't take that kind of pain a second time. Whether you meant to or not, you tore out my heart, Connie Moreau. And as much as I wanted to hate you for that, I couldn't. I could never hate you. I have always, and I will always love you.

When I see you with Charlie, I sometimes wonder how long he's been in love with you. It seems as though he's loved you since the beginning of time. That's how he talks anyway. But I'm not so sure. I really want to know… what made him realize how perfect you were? What was the catalyst for him falling head over heels? Was it something as simple as a smile? The most beautiful one he'd ever laid eyes on; three teeth missing, two crooked, and all bared for the world to see in a confident grin that warmed him to the tips of his toes, even as he stood in the cold and slushy snow, the chill seeping through his sneakers as though there was no barrier at all…

**_End_**. **_R&R please. Flame if you feel compelled._**


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